Kindercraft: Warcraft Adventures with Toddlers
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Tyranis on Wednesday, June 3, 2009 - 52 Comments Tags: children, comedy, funny, kids, kindercraft, toddlers
Tyranis on Wednesday, June 3, 2009 - 52 Comments Tags: children, comedy, funny, kids, kindercraft, toddlers 
Like many others, I've been playing WoW since the original beta. My first son, Richie, was barely six months old at the time. A year and some change later, I joined my first, and only, raiding guild. When my second son, Logan, was born, I was slaying Ragnaros. When my kids got older, WoW became a spectator sport for them. Much of my time in the Outlands was spent with one or more children on my lap. I had been promoted to GM of the guild and became their main raid leader. In fact, I fondly recall setting up the assignments for Void Reaver with my son beside me. I keyed into vent to say something to the raid and at that exact moment my son blurted out, "When are you going to fight the wobot?" Hilarity ensued and to this day some guild members still refer to that boss as "The Wobot."So now we're in Northrend and my children are ages 5 and 3. They are no longer content to merely sit on my lap and watch me play. I used to be able to pad my coffers with gold by doing dailies while also entertaining my children. Those days are over. Now they want to participate. They want to click stuff. They want to loot, click on herbs and mines and even fight the bad guys.
Both kids are surprisingly effective at playing my toons. Logan can manipulate the interface, find my pets and mounts and click on his favorites. Richie is so advanced that if he could read quests, he could pretty much play solo. After seeing what my eldest could do, the light bulb went off. At least it seemed like a light bulb, but in retrospect it was just the Bad Idea Bears doing what they do best. So I can't farm and do dailies with my kids watching anymore, but my kids are decent at the game by themselves.
It started off innocently enough: "Hey Richie, you need to knock down 30 ogres to beat this quest." I would run and make lunch for the kids and come back and the quest was complete! Brilliant! What I forgot to factor in is how quickly small children can grow bored and how creative they are at finding ways to entertain themselves. The end result was the birth of...The Tales of Kindercraft.
All-You-Can-Eat Seafood Buffet
I was leveling up my fishing in Azshara. I was gathering darkclaw lobster so I could improve my cooking skills at the same time. I had over five stacks of the crustaceans in my backpack when Richie bounded over and asked if he could help. I took the bait. (/pun) I was all pleased with myself. I was doing chores around the house while my son leveled my fishing and cooking for me. I felt like the modern age Tom Sawyer getting others to whitewash my fence. I came back fifteen minutes later to see how he was progressing. My fishing skill had only been leveled a point or two so I asked my son what he was doing. His reply was, "Eating yummy lobster." Over one hundred lobster vanished in fifteen minutes. Did I learn my lesson? Nope.
The Fruit, the Milk And the Pachyderm
Got Milk? Yes plenty.There have been three occasions where my son has stumbled upon a vacant desk chair with one of my characters already logged into WoW. The first time this happened, I returned to see my son sitting there with an impish grin on his face. I immediately opened my bags and discovered every single bag slot was filled with various fruits from Applebough, the Dalaran fruit vendor. I actually laughed at that one as the damage added up to a few gold pieces, but in retrospect, that only made him think that buying stuff on my toons would illicit a positive reaction.
I was playing an alt one Saturday morning when I got up to use the bathroom. I returned to find my son in my seat and I knew there was trouble when he said, "Look in your bags." This time it was milk, ice-cold milk. However, it was a bit more severe as he had deleted all the items in all of my bags in order to cram as much milk as he could on the toon. I didn't even have my hearthstone. I was just so glad that I was playing a low-level alt that I didn't really care about it.
The final incident unfortunately concerned my death knight. My son was helping me with my Sons of Hodir dailies and I got up to take a phone call. Upon my return, I was 800g poorer but I had a nice new ice mammoth mount to match the one that I already had. So I sold it back and recouped what little I could. That one stung a bit.
Keep in mind that in between these events comes weeks of playing without incident. He learns and in general it is a very positive experience for us both. I just have come to accept that every once in a while my toons will be plummeted from the top of Dalaran to their death or have all their gear unequipped in exchange for trash grays. What I'm really worried about is when they are able to actually spell and type the word Delete.
Stay tuned for more Tales of Kindercraft! In the meantime, do any of you have any misadventures to share about things that happened to your character when you weren't in control? How about any other stories about playing WoW with children?
Reader Comments (52)
Do you remember "Daddy's taking a poopie..." and followed by the disastrous line "I want to talk to that guy..." in Ahn'Qirag?
Just one of the many reasons that guy isn't in our guild anymore. =)
I too have a son named Logan (4), He has been watching me play WOW for some time and I would let him play my toon, while watching him, until the day he wanted his own. So without his mother knowing I helped him make a toon and off we went (Tauren Druid). A few days later I get a call from my wife, "Logan wants to play HIS wow toon?", "oh crap" I thought, I never told her about this... So after a long "talk" my wife logged in and Logan brushed her aside and started to play. Later that day I got home from work and the house was very quite.. then laughing broke the still. My wife ( who has always frowned on wow - refering to it as the "other woman" ) was playing wow with Logan and having a blast! The two of them played for most of the day (5 hours) to level 14. My son turned and looked at me... "Daddy I am a bear!, followed by a roar. Being a well rounded kid he very rarely plays now, but now prefers to play outside with the kids down the block.
Great Post!
I'm not letting my small sisters touch my WOW :D no matter how good they are in ROSE online or Ragnarok Online or Maplestory, this game is mine and mine alone LOL
Keep em coming pls :D you have epic tales :D
@ Alex
What the hell is your problem? Clearly you don't have kids yourself or you wouldn't say something so stupid. I have 7 year old twins that just finished first grade and they have computer classes at school. So much for "they shouldn't be anywhere near a compter of a TV." My girls learned their ABCs, counting and reading from computer games (granted they were ones designed to teach such subjects). My 2 year old son is learning the same. My son loves to sit on my lap when I play and imitate pet sounds (when I play my hunter) or just enjoy watching the game like its a show. My girls have started asking me about making them a toon to learn the basics of the game with.
I don't play the game 6 hours a day. My kids don't watch/play the game 6 hours a day. What they watch/see on WoW is far less offensive than the crap behavior they observe watching Hanna Montanna, Drake and Josh, etc. Some people really need to think before they post.
Keep on rockin', Tyranis!
@alex
Wow, just wow. You really have no clue, do you? Are you the type that thinks children should be raised in a bubble or something? O.o
It was actually a few years ago when my, then, 3 year old neice was visiting. It was close to her bath time and she had decided to come upstairs early to watch what I was doing.
For some unknown reason she simply adores and worships me. Is she in for a mssive disappointment!
Anyway, I was preparing to enter our weekly run into MC (me for the hell of it), when I felt this tiny hand on mine on the mouse.
Me: Yes?
Her: I wanna try.
Me: Um... I'm about to do something really important. You'll have to wait a bit.
Her: I wanna try!
Me (preparing to pull): Not now.
Her: I WANNA TRY!!
Parents downstairs: Let her try!
Me (throwing up hands in frustration): Fine!
I keyed into TeamSpeak to let them know that the raid would likely wipe due to loss of control of my Hunter to a 3 year old.
A few people tried to make light of the situation while I started the mental calculation of how much gold I currently had versus the repair bill this would incur.
What happened was actually interesting to watch.
She seemed to be listening to the raid leader's instructions and she actually got into the right position to start pulling. Her timing was actually perfect, pulling the giants just as the elemental and puppy moved away...
... but then she proceeded to run after the puppy and elemental to pull them back to the raid.
Needless to say the raid proceeded to wipe... with my Hunter running straight for the nearest cliff edge and jumping off into the lava.
Her: Why is the water red?
Me: That's not water. It's lava.
Her: What is it?
Me: Really hot stuff that just killed my toon.
Her: Oh. I'm going to take my bath now.
I banged my head repeatedly on my desk at this point, dreading the repair bill for dying in a river of lava.
On Team Speak: Is she gone now?
@elfennau
No, not the bubble kids.
@lawman30
Did you teach your kids something or the PC is the parent in the house?
LOL Great article and thank you for sharing!
My son isn't yet two, but I look forward to the day when my husband and I can begin to share our love of WoW, gaming, fantasy, science fiction....(the list goes on) ... with him. Even though apparently this has just removed my chances of winning 'Parent of the year'.
I think my poor parenting choices can be blamed on my Uncle, who, as I was growing up, spent all of that quality time with me. The Uncle who kept me engaged and showed me how to maneuver around on his old Atari, always made sure I viewed the latest Star Trek and introduced me to Tolkien, ... just think where I could be right now if my brain hadn't been turned to mush! ;-)
Keep the articles coming!
Sumtimes when i have to run outside to do sumthing i have my little sister(7 years old) sit and make sure nothing attacks me and if they do just press attack button. Well one time i came back to find her crying because apparently an elite had come on the road and attacked me she pressed attack like she was supposed to but i died anyway she was absolutely devastated and would not stop crying until i rezzed and killed the "big scary thingy" that attacked me.
Logan is a very good name!!! hehe.
Well im actualy 14, but i remember when i was 10 i wasnt into any computer games, what with the whole geek bandwagon about them. So i see my stepdad playing, he was a tank and was raiding BWL. Gets up to get a cofee, and I knowing full well that i was going to do something wrong, decide to punish him for being a geek. So i sit on his desk push his talking button and yell "Holy shit big dragon, kill kill kill!" loud enough that he heard it so then he screamed no, but it was too late, he was one shotted and the raid was trying to pick it up. I got yelled at but not in trouble, it is only a game afterall.
Kindercraft.. what a great title.
Anywho, I too have a daughter (5) who loves to "play" WoW - but will only play when I am sitting there with her.
Her favorite things to do in game are fishing, picking flowers, and exploring. Granted, I can benefit from her flower picking and fishing (she even knows how to recast to get the bobber into the pool of fish)
@Alex
I have some comments for you, but I'll have to refrain - I gotta go set my 5 year old up in my WoW sweatshop... Daddy needs a couple more stacks of Dragonfin.
The preschool teacher in me cringes a little at the thought of young kids playing WoW, but, as you're writing an article for entertainment, I'm sure things have been a bit embellished. If it's something you enjoy and want to share with your kids, then good for you.. better have them around that slamming doors and not spending time with them.
To everyone giving you crap, I'm sure your kids have plenty of outside time, books, art, etc that all little minds need to grow. WoW opens up a whole world of stories, literature, etc to kids.
(believe me, if I had kids, I wouldn't mind showing them WoW from time to time :) and, how long will it be til we see WoW for kids??!)
Alex-
Dont be so archaic. He's doing stuff WITH his kids, thats way more than most parents do.
And learning stuff from TV and the PC can be fun and stimulating. No, that shouldnt be the only things that a parent uses to educate their kid, but using it as a staple is perfect acceptable.
Also, a lot of parents cant spend every waking minute with their children, because of work, or maybe they just need a trip to the bathroom. Whats the harm in letting them look at a computer or a TV? As long as the parents remind the kid that violence is not okay, and use discretion, I don't see the problem.
And come to think of it, you have not mentioned what the problem is. Are you trolling?
Don't feed the troll, ignore it.
that is an awesome story. My daughter is 4 and like yourself I have been playing for the 4 years of her life. She has grown up seeing the game all the way through. Now her best part of the game is fishing. She like's to do it for me and has great fun grinding out the mats for my fish feasts... now this is great as it means that for me getting ready to raid as a raid leader has got a bit easier... no more fishing for me she does it all... all i have to do is show her the area were the schools of fish are :-) it is nice to share with her one of my past times.. as she is a little young to go down the pub lol
@ Alex
I'm a lawyer and some of the people I represent have to work with parent aides and you remind me of these parent aides. Smug 22-25 year olds fresh out of college who have never parented a child acting like they are the authorities on the situation. I maintain my doubts that you have children of your own. In the unlikely event that you do, I feel as sorry for them as you seem to feel for mine.
Neither my PC not the TV is the parent to my children, I am. I am the one (along with my wife, obviously) that feeds them, cleans them, takes them to school and plays with them, etc. Do I let my kids use the computer and watch TV for fun...you bet I do. Do I let them do it to excess...you bet I don't. Your vision here is so narrow that I am actually quite shocked by it and based on the comments in this thread so are many others.
I remember the "wobot" incident. So cute! :) But that did make me realize one important thing about "WoW" over other games. The art and design are so good anyone can figure it out themes and intents. When I walk past the den and see my son playing something on the xbox, I often times can't figure out what I'm looking at let alone what he is doing while in "WoW" you can look at nearly anything and derive something intrinsic out of what you are observing. So easy even kids can see it and figure it out.
As a side note, the guild does have "clean vent rules", not specifically for Tyranis but that many of us have children who may watch and hear what we are doing.
Good thing you can make 10 characters each on 5 realms as my 5 year old daughter really enjoys creating new toons. The hard part is when she expects you to play them all. She has made six on my account, one on my husbands and one on my sons. I will admit to being glad when some of her name choices are already taken such as Deathstar and Gumgum.
She also had a talent for grabbing Noble Garden eggs.
I have a cat and I remember at least twice she acted all cute while i was in an instance......right in front of the screen. The worst part is explaining it! "Sorry I wiped you, but my cat was being all cute and had to pet her."
A sad day will be wene they make their own alts and got better than you...sad, sad day....
My Son is 2, a few weeks back i was called in to help finish up a naxx run. My son has seen my toon many times before and always points and says " E'ITTY!!!". While we were working on the Deathknight wing quarter, my toon wound up dying, to my sons much displeasure he yells "OH GNOME!"...Since that time at any death of a toon the automatic reply from that player is oh gnome...
lol "wobot" alex you're gointo make one hell of a father some day you dont know about the filter right it blocks all those "bad words" i often get yalled at by parents for cursing my head of and i tell them the same thing turn your filter on WOW that bad i saw a virtual toon naked i am gointo scored for life i saw virtual toon swing for a monsters head i am gointo do teh same if you're child shows agreesive characteristicks maybe instead charging at the TV and PC with a sludge hammer maybe you should look in the mirror and yea i have some horror story but thier is nothing funny about mine the horror storys come from diffrent sources my cousin made my account so he knows my password and username he likes to go on it and screw me nothing major just disarmor me and then charge into a mob and the nuse up all my money for repairs not that i ahve taht much anyways once when i was at his house for new year he was playing around wth my DK liek he was gointo erase i my 80DK he allready typed teh word and had his finger on the enter ke we started wrestling and he excedently hit teh enter key and goodbye my DK i spent the next day opeing tickets talking to GMs trying to get back my DK i did eventualy but itwas quite the scare other tiemse he just talks trash to my friedns and guild allmost got me kicked from a guild then thiers my arch enemy the internet box it allways starts giving me grap when at the worst tiem when iam in combat or doing an instance i usaly and up getting kicked from teh group or dying when i log back on another souce is my keyboard a key gets stuck and i jsut ceep walking so far that i end up pulling a boss or a group causing a wipe and getting kicked
omg. nice story. Wobot.... lol. So familiar..
And the parts where you come back in the room and see the kids sitting there with a cheecky smile knowing something is up.
The *metal picture* made me smile from ear to ear.. hehehe.
The Wobot! I love it!
I like the milk thing, too. xD