Balancing Act: WoW and A Social Life
Posted by 
iTZKooPA on Tuesday, March 31, 2009 - 26 Comments Tags: a social life, balancing act, bigredkitty, biobreak, blogosphere, hardcore, life > wow, phaelia, resto4life, syp, waaagh!
iTZKooPA on Tuesday, March 31, 2009 - 26 Comments Tags: a social life, balancing act, bigredkitty, biobreak, blogosphere, hardcore, life > wow, phaelia, resto4life, syp, waaagh! 
The Balancing Act column was created to highlight how we as a community can dedicate so much time to our beloved MMORPG, and still have times for the finer things in life. The introductory piece focused one's ability to play other games. The second installment forces us to take a much harder look at ourselves, our lives and how our hobby interferes with our personal connections.The past few weeks in the blogosphere have been, well, downright depressing. First the WoW community lost one of the most prominent Druid healing blogs, Resto4Life. In the past few days I have personally lost two blogs that I subscribe to on my RSS feeder (Yes, I read other stuff. You should too!), my favorite WAR blog known as WAAAGH! and Project Lore's own, BigRedKitty. Phaelia and BRK both mark personal and family duties as reasons for their departure. Phaelia took her absence due to a pregnancy, one which Blizzard has honored. For his part, BRK ends his reign as an enlightened and highly regarded Huntard to spend more time with his family. Only Syp of WAAAGH! will remain on the blogging scene, shifting gears from WAR to an all-new multi MMO blog appropriately named Bio Break.
The recent losses, and the reasons behind them, have led me to look at my life in much the same way. I'm not going anywhere though, and that is due to one big difference - I do not have a family. Pleasing my girlfriend and keeping friendships intact are all I have to worry about, but even that can become difficult sometimes! Time management is not everyone's strong point, and the only way I manage is by laying things out in advance. The most time consuming of my WoW habits is raiding. I work around this all night affair by informing my girlfriend of my raiding nights days in advance. Not only does this let her know it's coming, but she can try to schedule her owns things, like a girl's night, if given enough time. For obvious reasons I don't inform my friends of such plans, but with my guild only raiding twice a week, it is easy to work raiding around face time with friends. This is mainly accomplished by keeping the weekends entirely unscheduled as far as Azeroth is concerned. I have also been known to disappear from raiding entirely for a few weeks. Going cold turkey from time to time allows me to reevaluate my habits. I can discern if I am being neglectful or getting sucked in a little too much. Not to mention the fact that a break here and there keeps the game fresh and fun.
How do the hardcore raiders out there manage it? I don't think I could ever be hardcore again. In fact, the only reason I was able to pull it off in the first place was because my ex-girlfriend played more than I did. I don't regret it, I had tons of fun, but my life has changed since then and it can no longer facilitate such a commitment. As long as I get through all the raids, I am content at being hardcore casual. The lesson to take away from all of this is to remember that age old adage, Life > WoW. Be sure to keep those friendships active, the grades up to snuff and to stay awake at work. To Phaelia, BRK and Syp, all the best in your future endeavors.
Reader Comments (26)
First!!!
My friends play WoW.
My family are in the middle of a kinda war where it's my lone-parent mother vs the rest of the family because one of my uncles made up bullshit about something he says she said, basically, which is complete bullshit as I witnessed it.
So I just gotta stick with her, keep her happy. My friends are fine with my playing WoW and occasionally going out with them.
I must admit, education has went a bit downhill since WoW, but I'll fix it. I have all the time in the world anyway.
zomg you're like the coolest guy ever...douche
err...that was directed to the "firstard"
most ppl i know call me a loser when they find out i play wow but i dont mind i was kinda a loser before anyways :P
My life involves going to work, then coming home and playing WoW. I have few RL friends and no girlfriend, which is really nice because I can have as much time to WoW as I want! I do take time to appreciate the finer things in life, for example, I play a musical instrument, which takes commitment as well. Playing WoW outside on a cool, breezy summer evening would be perfect : )
I hardly go out. lol
So, Balancing RL with MMOs don't really matter to me.
My fiance started playing WoW because I did and I was so immersed in the game and my (at the time) guild that he felt it was the only way to communicate with me. Since he started playing, I learned to break away a bit and see the outside world. I hold a job fine, but now it's no longer "eat, sleep, work, play WoW" and I can go out with friends and my fiance to have fun. The sun still burns though.
The balancing act can be very difficult. It's so easy to get immersed in WoW and the people you play with, but we always have to remember that it's a game and a source of fun/relief- not the center of the known universe.
I really REALLY hope that BRK receives some sort of in-game honor...he was one of my favorite bloggers and one of the most helpful video posters EVER. His survival hunter shoot rotation video was something amazing and a lot of people enjoyed it a bunch. There are some posts in the Blizzard Forums that you can /sign for an in-game BRK related item/pet/non-combat pet.
But, imo, RL is ALWAYS what you have to target for, unless you're some really REALLY hardcore player and want to make some money by the Arena Tournament. Playing WoW is one of the most enjoyable experiences that I have passed through in my life. Now, I'm not playing it anymore to concentrate on my college and family. But sometimes I grab a 60 day game card and play in my rare empty schedule. So, people, always remember: RL>WoW
This has always been a challenge for me simply because unlike several of my lucky friends(who also happen to be guildmates) My job involves me traveling amongst the outdoors at least 6+months out of the year. So finding time for wow and friends/family has often seemed to be a juggle.
I have been able to do it though, and get through most of the content i've wanted with my guild. The main reason is i'm not a hardcore raider. And the next main reason is that i'm not in a race against time. I'm in no rush to blow through endgame content before the next patch, the game isn't going anywhere. Really i think everyone needs to take a look at there RL and set priorities imo. WoW has always been low on my priorities but that doesn't mean i still don't get to go to naxx, or Malygos- it just means it's the cherry on the cake.
Remember that as much as there is to do in wow, there is FAR more content and achievements in RL. With saying that i've got some downtime at the moment so i'm off to pvp :)
It's actually really hard trying to keep my real life satisfied, I am a student that tries to maintain the best grades possible. So I end up missing the occasional raid, and my mother gets angry when all the weekends activities are canceled because I have to play WoW. So I miss a few raids and make the best of it...but my guild is friendly and they are understanding that it is a game and we are just trying to have fun.
EVERYONE QUICK GO TO Bigredkitty.net NEW POST BY TJ SECRET BRK PROJECT! SEND EMAIL TO topsecretbrkproject@gmail.com!
It wus TOP SECRET, you should've read that Aberon.
Anyway, I wish them good luck in everything they propose to do!
I try to balance the two in a fine equilibrium. My grades are good, I have a good social circle, and i'm heading into the dating world. I'm 16 and WoW was a hardcore commitment for me last year. But now I have decided my goals weren't to down nightbane and get that mace from Maiden. My true goals were to stay fit, have good friends and go to a good college. Of course, a little WoW never hurt anyone.
Its horses for courses...meaning that my balance is different from everyone else's balance. That aside, to try and keep a balance I've set some rules so I don't neglect my family and friends.
It goes GF > Family > Friends > WoW, and I use it to resolve most times an event classes with wow.
oh noes , real life calls =P have that feelin' too sux, just gota handle it as u can best
Well my life got ruined by myself playing WoW. The reason I am not saying: My life got ruined by WoW, is because I was the person that logged in each time.
It resulted in me quiting school, losing jobs, having chest pains for 1,5 years and so on.
The thing people need to realize is, is that WoW gives nothing, absolutely nothing in return, it's a neverending timeconsuming, RL-wasting investment. It's not like Quake or Doom that you play a few lvl's of each day till you reach the last boss and uninstall it.
What are those epics / mounts / achievements worth? When you lost friends, perhaps your girl/boyfriend, when you start noticing that the contact with your parents / kids / familymembers is not the same.
I saw people standing in orgrimmar or Dalaran for hours and hours a day just walking around and I was doing the exact same stupid thing, seriously I was so happy that last november 2008 I started realizing my life needed to change. SInce then I sport each day, i lost 22 kilos, I do a lot more with my parents, contacting my friends more. and what did I lose? a silly pixel character in a game that I spended money on each month to feed my addicion -_-
Sure people can say: I do all these real life things already! most of them lie, others aren't real raiders and just real casual (which makes WoW useless and not worth the payment as it offers nothing besides that cause there's better PvP games out there), and perhaps others are just so addicted they just ignore it all together just to keep logging in each day.
Sorry for the wall of text, but I had to share it and this seemed the right spot.
There is no need to start an argue with me or whatever as I simply do not care, I know the truth and that is all that matters :)
besides that, project lore is still awesome and yes I do enjoy watching it, not cause of the game cause I seen it all, but you 5 guys are just awesome to watch in those silly situations!
P.S.: this is ofcourse directed to the people that are in these bad situations where real life is getting affected.
If you are capable of having a healthy and stable real life and still play WoW's endgame stuff then that's great if you enjoy that.
Back to cleaning the bathroom now >_<
The only thing you need is to set your priorities as simple as that, and follow them with "Iron Will"
I can understand and empathize with the dilemma of playing WoW. It is an incredibly addictive game with rich interactive content and a great story line. Wraith of the Lich King brought in a whole new spin on questing that actually made it enjoyable to grind them out. But over-consumption of any single item is unhealthy. Everyone has the ability to choose how much time they are going to invest in WoW and where it ranks in the list of priorities. That decision can be based on a number of factors from certain insecurities to pure laziness. Some people might play because they have trouble making friends in real life. Hidden behind the computer it becomes easier for them to open up and be the person they think people will like. Others absorbed in the game might be seeking something they are not getting from real life. And of course, most of us play simply because we are “gamers,” we enjoy the thrill of technology, using it to escape the mundane of real life.
I am a “gamer” in the purest definition of the word. I sat for hours playing the Atari when it first came out with its five primary colors and square avatars. I upgraded to the Sega, Nintendo, N64, PS, PS 2, and then into RPGMMO games while spending many a nights at the bars with my friends, finding relationships to fall in and out of, getting married, having children, and suffering through a divorce (not because of gaming or WoW). Recently I graduated from college at the ripe old age of 40 while working full time, raising my three daughters, renovating my house (myself), making time for my new wife, spending every Saturday night with our RL friends, achieving level 80 in WoW and participating in weekly guild raids. I can not say that by indulging several times a week in WoW has ever negatively affected my life. It is a matter of know what is really important to you and that each minute that passes you by will never be regained (there is no reset button when you died in RL). If I can find balance in my life then I know anyone can achieve the same.
Well this made me think, myself..I am doing very bad at life at the moment, I went from being a good student to a crappy student who went to the lowest you can.
Why? Well I'm addicted..when I come home from school, the first thing I do is start up PC, read wowinsider, Project Lore and start WoW, I then play till 23:00 and go to bed, that's what I do from monday-->friday.
Then however the weekend starts, I wake up at 6:30, start up the PC, do the same routine till 0:00.
I've been thinking alot about this really, I turned into something I never wanted and I tried to stop so often, but I always come back for some reason, I am happy now though, I stopped WoW for 3 weeks, hoping to continue.
However all harm is done, these 3 years have costed me alot and I don't blame WoW, I blame myself for being so ignorant to all signs I got from the outside world.
Sorry for this Wall of Text and may God help you if you're addicted!
Not BRK! who will teach mac what to do now?
I've just come to the conclusion that I will probably never achieve what I originally would have liked to in WoW. I just don't have the time, period. I made it to 80 and now the prospect of grinding rep for gear, titles, achievements, etc., helping guildies, leveling professions, and running BG's to get some killer PvP sets seems to me an impossible task. By the time I would have an awesome character ready to run Naxx, two more expansions and 20 more levels will be out. Then I'll be behind on leveling. It's just really impossible for me and the hours I work. If you do love to play WoW like I do and actually have the time to do all that stuff consider yourself blessed.
I totally agree that WoW can be troublesome for some of the addicts real lives. But no one seems to ever mention the friends that you do make in WoW and other games that can end up being real life friends. When Wrath came out, I met 2 people in line that have been good buddies ever since. Not only that but I have several friends in game that I have met in person and think they are great. Its nice that I get to travel every once in a while to see these people as it gives me some place to go! Thankfully I haven't had any psycho's but its nice to get to know people that have the same interest as I do.
I did have to make a few rules to keep myself from being pulled too far in. Clean house, run errands, and leave one weekend night open for painting the town. Since I have found my balance I enjoy my gaming time and my real life so much more!
hey my names ben and i am thinking of geting wow to be honest im a casual i play get bored and half a 6 month or so break then i play it again for a while while still maintaining a social life i think that if some one wants to play the game but is scared about getting addicted then play it but always be aware of yourself for a few weeks then see waht happens
oh and my guys name is sarhon on laughing skull realm :D