Project Lore

Let's face it. Children's Week is a junk holiday. You don't really care about those little ragamuffins, or give a hoot when they want to go meet the local Azerothian celebutante. No, no, no. I know what you're doing this for. I know what you're all about, you dirty, little pet fiend.

Don't think you can keep it secret any longer. This is all about swelling your ranks, buffing the size of your own little, private zoo. Your friends and colleagues... they said you needed help, but you struck back and claimed, "Nay! I do this only for the achievements!" But in reality, when nobody is looking, you slink back into your grimy den, whip out your Willy, and cuddle with it for a little while. And then you toss it back into your bag, with the dozens of others who go unloved and unplayed with until one day, you feel the urge again.

You make me sick!

Don't tell me you wouldn't want to squeeze them right now.

But you're not the only one out there, and there are those that seek to enable the uncouth ways of your undesirable population. I speak of Figure Prints, a company you may know from their other self-indulgent endeavour: creating statuettes of your pimped-out in-game avatar. Some time ago, they extended their expertise into the realm of reproducing those adorable little snugglebugs people tote around Dalaran like a chihuahua in a be-dazzked Gigantique purse.

The first Series included Speedy the Turtle, Stinker the Skunk, and the Clockwork Rocketbot. The company also sold a version of Murky, the tap-dancing Murloc at this year's BlizzCon.

Starting today, with Series 2, you can invest in all your worst Children's Week reward fantasies with real-life versions of Egbert, Sleepy Willy, and Snarly the Baby Crocolisk for only $29.95 a piece (or 74.85 for the entire set). I begrudgingly admit that they are, in fact, somewhat cute. But be aware, that even Figure Prints has their limit. These statuettes will only be offered from now until the end of the month, October 31st.

So go ahead, hit the site and click on that order button. I promise, I'll look away. I can't even watch you commit your shameful acts. But let me be clear, vanity pet freaks, if your problem gets any worse, next time... we're going to have an intervention!