Project Lore

The High Inquisitor is a new regular column at Project Lore that seeks answers to the greatest mysteries of Azeroth. Each week, the inquisitor will attack a previously unanswered question and attempt to explain the unknown. But she won’t rest until all plausible explanations are explored. The best, most probable comment(s) will be highlighted with the next edition’s inquisition.

Hello, and welcome to another inquisition! Last time, we had even more participation from readers who wanted to give input on the magical mystery of bag space. And we weren't the only ones with the topic on the brain. Earlier this week, the official Warcraft twitter account asked the same question of readers, also paying tribute to a pretty hilarious artist's depiction of Warcraft bags. They even showed Project Lore some love when I replied that we also were looking into the question!

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Let's face it. Children's Week is a junk holiday. You don't really care about those little ragamuffins, or give a hoot when they want to go meet the local Azerothian celebutante. No, no, no. I know what you're doing this for. I know what you're all about, you dirty, little pet fiend. Don't think you can keep it secret any longer. This is all about swelling your ranks, buffing the size of your own little, private zoo. Your friends and colleagues... they said you needed help, but you struck back and claimed, "Nay! I do this only for the achievements!" But in reality, when nobody is looking, you slink back into your grimy den, whip out your Willy, and cuddle with it for a little while. And then you toss it back into your bag, with the dozens of others who go unloved and unplayed with until one day, you feel the urge again. You make me sick! Don't tell me you wouldn't want to squeeze them right now. But you're not the only one out there, and there are those that seek to enable the uncouth ways of your undesirable population. I speak of Figure Prints, a company you may know from their other self-indulgent endeavour: creating statuettes of your pimped-out in-game avatar. Some time ago, they extended their expertise into the realm of reproducing those adorable little snugglebugs people tote around Dalaran like a chihuahua in a be-dazzked Gigantique purse. The first Series included Speedy the Turtle, Stinker the Skunk, and the Clockwork Rocketbot. The company also sold a version of Murky, the tap-dancing Murloc at this year's BlizzCon. Starting today, with Series 2, you can invest in all your worst Children's Week reward fantasies with real-life versions of Egbert, Sleepy Willy, and Snarly the Baby Crocolisk for only $29.95 a piece (or 74.85 for the entire set). I begrudgingly admit that they are, in fact, somewhat cute. But be aware, that even Figure Prints has their limit. These statuettes will only be offered from now until the end of the month, October 31st. So go ahead, hit the site and click on that order button. I promise, I'll look away. I can't even watch you commit your shameful acts. But let me be clear, vanity pet freaks, if your problem gets any worse, next time... we're going to have an intervention!

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Children's Week is only a few days old and I have already completed what I set out to do.  I have said in the past that I am not a big Achievement person, so what I wanted to accomplish is far less than many other people.  In fact, all I cared about was grabbing the pair of pets for escorting orphans all over Azeroth and Outlands.  After some creative travelling, tiring flights and a bit of hoofing it, I turned in my whistles and snapped up Sleeping Willy and that cute-as-hell Turtle.  I still think Egbert is the best pet ever though. I came across this little gem over on WoWInsider a scant few hours before I completed my mission.  I read the headline and knew that my fear of Achievements was coming true, if just a little.  One of them was ruining the gameplay experience for many players, while frustrating the others to no end.  My GM was actually on both sides of the issue, trying to score the achievement but becoming incredibly frustrated by everyone sitting in their base, hoping to return a flag with their brat out.  He was so irate that his wife had to leave the house to avoid the cursing, anger, frustration and likely the destruction of a perfectly good keyboard.  I can attest to extensive use of the Caps Lock key, and a nice selection of four letter words.  My poor virgin eyes. To elaborate, the way I view the Achievement system is to promote extended play, while enabling players to show off their feats.  In theory, its a very sound addition to any video game.  Instead, this "controversial achievement" has created a firestorm in the Battlegrounds, leading to selfish play and highly unusual experiences.  It wasn't since WSG was first released that I have been in a BG that was so long, unproductive and painful, and I wasn't even going for the achievement!  I queued up solely to experience some of the pain that my GM was lamenting about.  Sadly, all I ended up doing was helping the Horde players with their achievements.  The greenskins allowed me to walk to the flag, unstealthed mind you, and cap it.  At this point I was pummeled by ten angry players and their orphans as they spammed right click to pick-up the flag.  What violence the young minds have been tainted with. How have you found the Battlegrounds recently?  Are they as frustrating as my GM would leave the guild to believe or is he just having bad luck?  Has anyone become desperate enough to try to trade flag caps with the opposing faction?  This is the first time that I have been happy to not care about achievements.  What a terrible time to first experience a BG to boot.

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