Entries in cultural jokes (1)
Questing: Goblins Love Explosions
iTZKooPA on Friday, January 16, 2009 - 22 Comments Tags: DEHTA, cultural jokes, ethical treatment of make believe animals, explosions, goblins, questing, sons of hodir, storm peaks, things that go boom 
It certainly didn't take me long before I found some noteworthy quests in Storm Peaks. I went about doing the first round of SP quests after heading into K3 to initiate my Sons of Hodir questline. At first I was just trying to get a feel for the land with the opening quests, but as it turned out, one of them is the first tasks for the Sons. Only 24 more quests to go...before I am neutral.
If there is one thing the Goblin race is known for it is their love of technology. Often the more dangerous the technological “advances” the better. With that I strolled, no, actually, I flew over a minefield without realizing it before being blasted out of the sky by a pair of AA guns. I then turned into a gnomish pinball as I was blasted from land mine to land mine before finally landing in a relative safe zone. I guess stacking that stamina a few levels ago was a smart move. Once landed, Disarm Trap made the quest trivial for me.
As I watched myself being launched from location to explosive location I couldn't help but laugh at Solidsamm's misfortune. He didn't get the worst of it though, turns out Jeer Sparksocket left his buddy in the middle of the field with no intentions of saving him! Perhaps he should go for the aptly named Mine Sweeper achievement.
That one was all fun and games, then next quest I participated in had me a little emo. If you haven't figured it out by now I am an animal lover. I have four fluffy ferrets, nearly a dozen finned friends, a pinchy crayfish, a trove of snails and a girlfriend (until she reads that). So when I was tasked with collecting some animal meat from the local mammoths by way of explosion, I balked.
I know it's just a game, but I have a soft spot for the wooly beasts for some reason. The catch is that like any self-respecting action junkie I love explosions. My soft spot for things that go boom lead me to toss a U.D.E.D. (ideas on the acronym?) at the first modified elephant I saw. I regretted it as soon as the animation started. With that I quietly picked up the pieces – already did the damage might as well make his death worth something! - and logged off for the evening. With a tear in my eye.
Despite my tyrantical treatment of the mammoth, I would argue that it is more humane than previous methods. Mr. Mammoth had a quick demise by way of goblin engineering. Had I done it my way he would have suffered multiple stables wounds from my rusty daggers, not to mention a belly full of poison during a 10-20 second struggle for his life. To top it off, he would have only dropped one piece of meet, forcing me to hunt down his family members! How is that for a justification D.E.H.T.A?