Why I Will Never Be Fully Immersed In Azeroth
Posted by iTZKooPA on Tuesday, August 19, 2008 - 27 Comments Tags: Ironforge Sanitation Engineer, immersion, rant, tooltip
The picture really says it all. Garbage, waste, refuse, rubbish, whatever you want to call it - Azeroth does not have it. I am from the city of the most murders in 2007 brotherly love and here we have tons of it. Come garbage day it gets worse, as cans are knocked, dumped or blown over causing the streets to become even more cluttered. But head to Azeroth and you see nothing of the sort.
Azeroth and Outlands are spic and span, yet you never see an Ironforge Sanitation Engineer. Why is that? True, there is no gum to spit on the ground inside World of Warcraft, but there certainly is a lot of vendor trash. All those vendors can't possibly keep everything to themselves!
At this point in my life I am so used to trash being everywhere that it has become a staple of living in the city. But why isn't it around for my digital self? Here is what I think the Horde and Alliance does with their waste. Instead of ruining the glaciers of Northrend by burning the rubbish, we Azerothians recycle the trash into our most commonly used abilities. Here's what the tooltips should really say:
Warrior's Charge/Intercept Stun: Warrior sprints at the target, throwing a pile of glass and nails at their feet causing them to ignore everything else as they attempt to maneuver the danger.
Druid's Entangle: Druid throws down a pile of brush, tripping up the target. Can spec for added damage by including discarded needles in the organic matter.
Rogue's Kidney Punch: Rogue swings a discarded tire at the target, rendering them unconscious. Duration dependent upon object's size. Added damage if the tire is filled with mosquito larvae.
Hunter's Distracting Shot: Hunter throws a pile of trash right in front of the target, causing them to become distracted by disbelief.
Priest's Psychic Scream: Priest pulls a gun from a storm drain and screams "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot". Yes Stallone, I went there.
I am sure our community can add some creative ones to the list.
Azeroth and Outlands are spic and span, yet you never see an Ironforge Sanitation Engineer. Why is that? True, there is no gum to spit on the ground inside World of Warcraft, but there certainly is a lot of vendor trash. All those vendors can't possibly keep everything to themselves!
At this point in my life I am so used to trash being everywhere that it has become a staple of living in the city. But why isn't it around for my digital self? Here is what I think the Horde and Alliance does with their waste. Instead of ruining the glaciers of Northrend by burning the rubbish, we Azerothians recycle the trash into our most commonly used abilities. Here's what the tooltips should really say:
Warrior's Charge/Intercept Stun: Warrior sprints at the target, throwing a pile of glass and nails at their feet causing them to ignore everything else as they attempt to maneuver the danger.
Druid's Entangle: Druid throws down a pile of brush, tripping up the target. Can spec for added damage by including discarded needles in the organic matter.
Rogue's Kidney Punch: Rogue swings a discarded tire at the target, rendering them unconscious. Duration dependent upon object's size. Added damage if the tire is filled with mosquito larvae.
Hunter's Distracting Shot: Hunter throws a pile of trash right in front of the target, causing them to become distracted by disbelief.
Priest's Psychic Scream: Priest pulls a gun from a storm drain and screams "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot". Yes Stallone, I went there.
I am sure our community can add some creative ones to the list.
Reader Comments (27)
Just because you live in a disgusting city you want your virtual world to be dirty too? Where I live, the streets are garbage-free.
The world of Warcraft is a world set in a time like the middle ages. There was little trash in this time, but why?
BECAUSE NOTHING PRODUCED TRASH.
There were no candy wrappers, paper bags, or any of the sort.
And everything else, such as broken things, were taken apart and reused.
Oh, and by the way, there is plenty of debris and broken things, you just dont WANT to see it because your used to such garbage filled streets.