Project Lore

The High Inquisitor is a new regular column at Project Lore that seeks answers to the greatest mysteries of Azeroth. Each week, the inquisitor will attack a previously unanswered question and attempt to explain the unknown. But she won't rest until all plausible explanations are explored. The best, most probable comment(s) will be highlighted with the next edition's inquisition.

They're the drunken, boorish, muscular, axe-wielding, long-bearded, mining, vertically-challenged characters of Azeroth. And did I mention that their accent suggests they're Scottish? Yup, I'm clearly talking about dwarves. And my question is simple - why? Just when did dwarves become such a type-casted caricature? Not just in World of Warcraft, but dwarves in a multitude of modern pop culture references seem to share a few key elements: beer, rocks and a hardy, bearded musculature. If you want to blame someone, let's go directly to the source - Norse mythology. The dvergar, as they were called, were significant nature spirits associated with rocks and the earth. Although they weren't described as short beings until much later, the dwarves even in this rendition are master crafters, especially in the sculpting of metals. Somewhat ironically, when exposed to sunlight, the Norse dwarves would turn to stone and die. The pop-culture version of the dwarf took a drastic turn thanks to JRR Tolkien and his iconic The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings trilogy. The stocky, touchy, easy to anger incarnation this time also explained dwarves as merrymen miners who loved a good drink and would willingly take on someone much larger than them in a fight. We see this version of the character commonly referenced in the modern fantasy genre, including in WoW (especially recently in Brewfest). And this certainly wouldn't be the last time that LOTR may have been used as inspiration for WoW. In the Warcraft lore, dwarves originated from the Earthen, who are guardians of living stone. After the implosion of the Well of Eternity, the shocked earthen went into a state of hibernation within the titan cities of Uldum, Uldaman and Ulduar. Nearly 8,000 years later, they awoke with softened skin and diminished powers over stone. Some migrated to Dun Morogh and built Ironforge. So, that's that. But there's still the remaining question of the Scottish accent. In the Lord of the Rings books, the dwarves were described as having a language that would more closely resemble African tongues. On the other hand, the LOTR movies adopted the Scottish convention, solidifying it into all of our minds as the proper language for dwarves. Perhaps one explanation for the accent could come from English folklore surrounding Duergar. These short, trouser- and hat-wearing tricksters would appear bearing torches at night to lead travelers astray into bogs. This story originated in Northern England, along the border with - ding ding - Scotland. Or, perhaps, someone just decided to portray a dwarf with a Scottish accent, and it stuck. So, perhaps it's the accent that's the biggest mystery of all. But WoW dwarves just wouldn't be the same if they didn't proclaim, while rolling those RRRs and charming the listener, "I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem!" So here's where you guys come in. What do you think of the accepted portrait of dwarves - does it work for you? Or would you rather see more originality instead of stereotyped characters? Oh, and don't forget to find me a good reason why dwarves are Scottish. The best answer(s) will be featured in the next edition. 3...2...1... GO!

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Which is the Dark Iron Dwarf, and which is the keg? They're both short and fat - your guess is as good as mine!

As iTZKooPA already pointed out in his detailed Brewfest guide, the onset of this merriest of holidays brings with it a host of achievements and quests to keep us amused while chugging enough beer to dizzy even the stoutest of dwarves. I didn't get too into Brewfest last year, since I was low-level and focused on changing that. So this year I was excited to dive right in from the start. So why am I already hungover from all the content we have to do for the event? I think it's because two of the repeating themes of the holiday revolve around two of my least favorite antics: performing actions when not being able to see anything (in this case, because of drunken blurriness), and controlling a mount (for Brewfest, a ram) that has built-in limitations. For some of you, these may be your most favorite in-game tricks ever! But for me, not so much. I like the concept of Brewfest, and of course, knocking back some drinks should have some side effects on the drinker. Usually, I think the in-game drunk effect of blurred vision and the inability to walk straight is pretty funny. And I still enjoyed it the first couple of times around. But then I had to get smashed over and over again to catch Wolpertingers, find pink elekks, jump off a ledge in drunken stupor and, of course, fight back Dark Iron Dwarves intent on stealing our brew. Day one of Brewfest, it took my server only a couple of tries to win the epic battle by smashing those thieves over the head repeatedly with a giant mug. There's been some debate over whether this is bug-related or just because people aren't targeting the dwarves right, but both Monday and yesterday, amidst post-patch-lag, we had absolutely no luck in winning the fight. Which means 20 less tokens so far, but that could add up to a lot more if we don't get with the program. Maybe I'm being too hard on the ram quests. They're not that horrible, once you get the right whipping rhythm down for keeping them at a steady pace without getting fatigued. Just don't make the mistake of being in a group when you complete them. I've had two separate occasions already in which only one person in a group was able to turn in the Bark For... quests, then it would automatically fail the other person. Once again, that could be a bug or it could be Blizzard's way of preventing people from having an easier time completing the quests because they could ride on the coattails of someone else. One thing I have been thoroughly enjoying is whipping up on Coren Direbrew and getting some sweet loot. If you group up right and use your alts, you can get in quite a few runs every day on this guy and keep trying for those mounts and weapons! So has anyone else been having a hard time fighting back the Dark Iron Dwarves? What other bugs have you encountered? Despite my frustrations with a couple I've come across, I'm aiming to get Brewmaster - so that's enough to keep me chugging. Cheers!

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