Project Lore

It Looks High Due To Gnomish Relativity, It's Actually Only 3 Tauren Lengths Failing in World of Warcraft is a common occurrence.  Perhaps you lagged and that mob got a lucky crit in before your heal/potion/Vanish/Feign Death went off.  A terrible right mouse button misclick may send you plummeting to your death.  Maybe your greedy self finally got burned by a Pickpocket resist.  Failing isn't only a normal occurrence, but one that can come in many shapes, sizes and varieties.  The most hilarious of which is failing epically. My personal definition of failing epically has a pair of possible meanings.  The first is the inability to do something gimmicky, such as the numerous Super Mario Bros. type of deaths (Frogger (mobs after him), Safety Dance, Chilly Willy, etc).  The second is exponentially more painful.  Not only does it include yourself dieing, but you take someone with you, by accident.  The idea of an accident means sitting on a hunter who popped Feign Death to save on a repair bill does not count as an epic failure.  That is just endlessly hilarious and entertaining. A few examples of epic failure include Thaddius wipes, allowing people to die in Maexxna's web, allowing the tank to beat you in the DPS meter (assuming you are full DPSing), and rolling anything but a female dwarf.  I am by no means perfect and have been a part of these shortcomings along with most of the WoW populace, but I personally added a new category to the topic of doing things incorrectly, Lemmings.

During a quick run of The Nexus everything was going quickly and smoothly until I decided to take a shortcut.  After dropping Anomalus like a bad habit we headed towards Ormorok's wing.  I decided to cut out the middle man and jump from the ledge rather than taking my time walking down the ramps.  "Look before you leap" is an intelligent colloquialism, wrong ledge.  As I plummeted to my death I hit my push-to-talk button to allow my guildies to hear me laughing at my own stupidity.  When Solidsamm went *SPLAT* another maniacal laugh cut across my own, followed by another *SPLAT*.  The mage mistook me for someone who knew what I was doing, and followed me to the bottom of The Nexus.  I had managed to create Gnome Lemmings! No one is perfect, but we all love embarrassing stories so that is one of mine.  What other ways have you failed epically in WoW?  Remember, it's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop at the end. As for the PL dungeon crew, we want a blooper reel!

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Anub'Rekhan dead before the raid even started.

The spending spree that I went on wasn't just to make me feel good, I wanted my DPS to perform in raids. Despite being Mutilate, which is the butt of all Rogue PvE DPS jokes, I wanted to be able to lay waste to Naxxramas as much as the next guy.  Some 2000+ gold later and I felt that I was more than prepared.  Believe it or not, I was actually correct for once! My new guild has been running Naxxramas, Obsidian Sanctum and tons of heroics for a few weeks before I joined.  Their combined ambitions caused my spending spree to keep me in the range of acceptable DPS, rather than the realm of "ponzor."  Of course, I didn't expect to dominate the charts with only a few heroics under my belt, but some of the DPSers emasculated me.  They made me feel that I should have spent far more gold.  Personal failures aside, it was good to be raiding again. Naxxramas has certainly changed since the 40-man days.  We are only doing the 10-man thus far, but there are far fewer trash mobs in the instance than before.  If you triple the mob count for some of the corridors then perhaps you'll be back in the realm of the old school Naxx.  Yesterday's raid started at 8:00 PM, by 7:50 PM we had already downed Anub'Rekhan.  Yea, we had a boss down before the raid started. As a side note, I dunno how likely it is that we hit the heroic side of Naxx.  Unless we begin recruiting I doubt we will see the 25-man edition without a good collection of PUGs.  That'll make it pretty difficult to upgrade my Mutilate build with the Omen of Ruin/Murder and Webbed Death.  But enough about the future, let us get back to the excursion. Things went fairly smoothly through the Spider Wing, although we did wipe to Maexxna.  She eventually dropped her Femur, which was offered to me, but I love my daggers.  Still it hurts to see Rogue loot getting DEed.  The Military Wing, well that was a different story.  We didn't hit a wall on the content or anything like that.  No, no.  You could say that the Military Wing was a different story on a personal level.  You see, my face was repeatedly smashed by the mobs with Whirlwind.  Being the only non-plate wearing melee DPSer in the raid meant that my deaths stuck out like a sore thumb...that had been cut off.  I heard quite a few quips about it. "Oh look, that gnome is dead again." "The rogue needs buffs, again." "That midget owes me a stack of Symbol of Kings." "Holy crap, I lived through one!" The jokes didn't stop until a pack of mobs decided to desecrate every part of my body.  On the second leg of the upper level towards Instructor Razuvious, a triple pack of whirlwinding mobs came at the raid.  Letting my bravado get the best of me, I charged in to DPS the skull with reckless abandon.  My head was found 30 feet away, separated from my torso which was remained connected to my legs by what was left of my intestines.  I was whirlwinded by three mobs at the same time.  Uncontrollable laughter was all that could be heard on Ventrilo.  At least my failures lightened the mood. After Razuvious dropped nothing of interest - actually no one did, we have tons of Abyss Crystals now - we continued on until reaching the Four Horsemen .  These bastards troubled my pre-TBC guild till no end, stopping us from proceeding to the Frost Wing.  It was relieving to see them go down, but it wasn't much of a fight in 10-man.  After clearing two wings in a few hours time we called Naxxramas for the evening and cleaned up Obsidian Sanctum before closing the raid.  My next challenge is to convince the GM to run the other two wings next Tuesday rather than Thursday so I can finish them, then the Frost Wing, and Malygos.  I am coming for you slowly but surely Bastosa! We still haven't managed to take down Sartharion with any of his buddies alive, but we did have a pretty productive and efficient night.  Only nine more badges to go before I can get a much needed trinket upgrade.  Now if we could just stop getting Hunter/Shaman loot...

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