The Joke Known As Healing Numbers
Posted by 
Ghostbeezy on Monday, February 23, 2009 - 49 Comments Tags: ADD, Composition, Paladin, Party composition, Recount, Tank Limbo, Textual distraction, cyber ego, follow, healing, healing meter
Ghostbeezy on Monday, February 23, 2009 - 49 Comments Tags: ADD, Composition, Paladin, Party composition, Recount, Tank Limbo, Textual distraction, cyber ego, follow, healing, healing meter 
Sorry healers, but I'm going to have to do this. I always hate being the one to blow the spot of some people in raids, but it's time to do it. As a healer I can stand up and proudly say:Healing numbers are a joke.
-deep breath- Now I feel better saying that, I'll totally explain why. Healing numbers have been broken for a while, and people don't realize it. They've always went back and looked at overall healing and boss healing and decided who to continue to take on a raid.
Healing numbers are funneled in through many programs, most popular being Recount. It is a glorified spreadsheet program tracking all stats of a fight, from DPS to Healing. The problem that stands is no program is as smart as the healers who are tracked by it. You can twist or sway numbers to really show how great or lazy you really are. The general consensus is that, you get a base idea of who is doing what in a raid, and that is a really helpful tool.
I, myself, am a Holy Paladin. I'm useless to multiple targets (for the most part), and I really am there for one purpose - Tank Survivability. However, most healers numbers are so skewed, it's hilarious. Next time you’re in a raid and between pulls, watch who’s healing while everyone is eating for the next pull. Don't think we're not totally sandbagging our numbers so we continue to be brought. Healers are the biggest whores of all.
Warlocks? Feel free to Lifetap away, you're giving me a raid spot - do it mid-fight even. I’ll heal you through any damage you want to take. Just remember to whisper me first, so I can get the first heal off. Retribution paladins? I adore Seal of Blood/Martyr you're going to give me a shot at t7.5 next week. Don’t tell the guy forming the raid though, he'll never understand. Yes, I Beacon of Light and Holy Shock during the vortex phase of Malygos. During that phase, you can only use an instant heal. I'll Beacon of Light myself and heal the tank because two heals show better than one. Yes I stand in black circles from time to time, to take damage to heal myself (purely for mana reasons...of course). Sometimes, I'm just mashing the heal buttons and not even sure if I’m hitting anything. The whole time most of your healers are playing a cat and mouse game with how much damage we can let in, while still making our numbers look like I am the Lightbringer.
There is even fight mechanics that make me a total cheater. Sometimes I just look forward to Patchwerk. That fight mechanic is money for a Holy Paladin. The fight takes 3 tanks in a 25 man raid, and spike damages them over and over again with a "Hateful Swing". This hateful swing is an 80k damage swipe before an kind of mitigation. I really get to just spam Holy light, and watch my number get higher than Michael Phelps. Seriously it's Beacon of Light one hateful tank + Holy light spam = Win. Nothing like flaunting the numbers to Patchwerk to make my cyber-ego grow larger than the monster from “Cloverfield.” All in all, I’m amazed we’re even tabbed in for fights we aren’t cheating on. Most healers are such Twitch playing, Monster drink addicted, DDR playing, Chemical Brothers listening, Strobe light rave dancing, Nancy boys, that you should probably put a leash on us to make sure we don’t wander off to our own death (only cause we're following you because of the text we just got). Seriously, We do text/twitter/call people while we're healing especially if the current fight doesn't lend it's self to our style/spec.
The flat out basics are, Numbers don't take in the mechanics and team play of the healers. I'm designed to be a wrecking ball with my healing in terms of just giving enormous burst heals. On high damage fights I'm so high on healing numbers that it will take 4 bosses to get other healers within range of me. Healing numbers don't take into account I'm healing special items, or that some heals are smart heals and some brute force designed with the intent of pouring on as much healing as it can. Some fights you pile the raid into a small spot, and can heal the group easier in a pile. It totally eliminates the need one big heal and a ton of small heals are better, depending on what fights you pick in some raids -- Your best healers may show up as your worst on those given nights.
So next time you’re sitting there worried about getting heals, don't worry. Unless you pull threat off of a tank and wipe an undying attempt over a misdirect – you'll get healed from the healers. If your raid stays alive, healers are doing their jobs. Know that, it’s a healer party composition that will together be better than the sum of its numbers. Know that your healers are sandbaggers too, and I just exposed our dirty secret of the “Health Limbo.” How low can you go, before we let you fall? Am I right healers? Can I get an Amen?
Reader Comments (49)
People actually post the healing numbers? I don't think I encounter this in raids yet, only damage and dps are usually shown. Always figure as long as people are staying alive then the healers are doing their job.
Guess maybe only healer role sees this competition if so I might find out when I get my holy priest alt up there.
I'm a healer too, and I must be lucky. My guild doesn't look at meters of any kind. If you are in the group when progress was made, you are considered good enough. I'm a holy priest, and I get assigned to the main tank, where as the druids are assigned to raid healing, along with a few HoTs on the tanks. I'll never touch them in numbers, but it doesnt matter, because if people stay alive, then I'll be invited again.
who is this blogger anyways?
I don't play the healer classes, i play the tankers, but my bro can keep the heals flowing no matter what i do, no over heals and no deaths, so there are still those people that actually know how to play the class out there, you just have to take the time to find them and keep them, lucky for me I can't really lose my personal priest =P
conxcore= leetsauce
firstly, yeah why not... A M E N Ghostbeezy
HaHa, i regenerate BOTH mana and health points to my party / group / raid!
and yes, i normally don't get the top spot on healing meters, but hell, i make it a point no one else dies in the raid.. even as Shadow!
Healing numbers are the biggest joke in the damn game. As a former Disc priest (I had to go holy because my numbers are to low as Disc) I have first hand experience at the fail section of recount that is "Healing Done". I can not wait until 3.1 when damage mitigation and absorption is put into the combat log so I can laugh at my raid heal leader and show him the kind of crap I could have been doing the whole time but he just didn't have the brains to realize that I mitigate more damage then he heals in a single boss encounter.
Do any of you other resto shamans like to agro mobs and use them to fuel your mana? I used to grab those elementals in Black Temple and let them pound on me as i healed so water shield would always be going off.
First off....who are you? and second, don't read too much into that sure some healers screw around in fights and the healing meters don't really matter even tho I'm a holy pally that tops the healing charts in ten man naxx....which is kind of sad....but anyways, maybe in the guild your in you screw around and don't pay attention but I always heal every pull, i don't care if I'm not ment to raid heal, i'm gonna do it anyways. You keep everyone alive no matter what your roll/healing style is. And its cool to screw around like in the beginning part of KT, I just jump around and holy shock peeps cause there is virtually no damage being done. But yeah....take what you can get outta that artical but don't read too much into it.
I've only seen the heals meter a couple of times, but I could tell right off that they were a joke. As a resto shaman, I consider my job done if the group doesn't wipe.
I just respecced as a Holy Pally, and I really enjoy it. (was Ret since the beginning)
Healing Done doesn't matter, it's Overhealinf where we shine the most. I remember 10 manning Darnassus for achievement, and my hands were in pain after that fight. Mana wasn't an issue with Replenish up most of the time, but spamming Holy Lights on each toon for 10 min straight was literally mind blowing. My eyes were basically glued to Grid and my forefinger tapping away heals. If u have the right elements and gear for a fight, it's easy to be top heals.
Old Chinese proverb say;
Tank Dies, Healers Fault.
Healer Dies, Tanks Fault.
Dps Die, Dps Fault.
funny our last undying attempt failed because razi one shotted a dps cause both of the under studys died cause the healers thought it was a good idea to stop healing them at 1 mill life good job healers
I love it. gr8 post..Holy paladin here..and I love it when a non healer class looks at your overhealing and says u need to get that number down and i politely tell them i have 18k mana and i never get below 65% in 10 mans and u don't die dare i let those numbers drop so next fight i dont heal him and poof..when why didnt you heal me i respond was working on lowering my overhealing..
I love it! I'm a druid healer.. In a fight i often walkaway when i have my enhanced regrowth, rejuv 3 LB's and a wild growth to get a drink of water or even Minimize WOW and get an instant message off.. IT is funny... I must drive tanks crazy to get back just in time to throw my "EMT " Macroh out instant healing touch to crit for 16K and put him back to full like when im back!
Does this not apply to dps meters? You know you all have guildies who are so obsessed with their dps numbers, they won't use or spec for abilities that help the entire raid. They won't apply all their debuffs, use CC, or help with the decursing because they'll lose a precious GCD. Sorry healer, I'm not going to root that mob heading for you because it will screw up my rotation. I'm sure you'll be fine anyways. You can't expect any hybrid class to act like one, because their numbers will go down. It's pathetic.
My main is a Holy Pally and I agree that heal meters are kind of off when it comes to any healing class. However, I don't see how you text, pst or talk thru fights and still do your job effectively. I have to pay attention to every last detail. And, as far as talking about just "stuff" when on vent and in a fight, I haven't met a raid leader YET that allows idle chatter in any boss fight ever, and few on trash mobs.
Oh, and Warlocks, it did irritate me when one of our locks would lifetap all the time, but it was because I didn't understand why he did it. I was always wondering why the heck his life was draining so quickly...Once he explained it to me, I was good. Now he can life tap away all he wishes :)
+1 to Rale. In fact, I would have enjoyed this post more if he wrote it.
As a holy priest I ignore numbers. They don't matter, never have, never will. As long as you get your party healed and wipe free then you've done your job.
Honestly, we don't need those numbers, let the children whore their dps out to the meters. We don't need to, we know we're doing good, we don't need to be reassured.
Oh, and it's "Hateful Strike". Can't believe no one picked up on that before.
well my main is a resto shaman and all i can say is this does not matter to me either way. my job purely is to heal the raid and my motto as a healer is "If there is aggro, somebody is taking damage" so i dont wait for tanks or whoever to drop to almost 0 health i heal them. Also healers wouldnt be such mana whores if they knew how to gear themselves out properly. As a shaman i made it to where when i had 4 set T7.5 gear and glyph of water mastery, my mp5 would be at 380 MP5 while casting self buffed, which would allow me to easily work on other stats. With the amount of mana i had and MP5 it takes 20 mobs for me to get near oom but only 5-7 secs to cast another chain heal, not to mention how mana spring and mana tide can extend that way beyond to where its actually 2-4 secs b4 chain heal is ready. As for charts, who gives a damn, they keep track of raid but all i know is if the raid isnt dieing, the mobs are dieing, and bosses are not enraging then why the hell should people care about charts.
I lol when i'm a couple mil above the second healer in naxx with less raw overhealing then he has. Surely it doesn't mean much to you but since that guy is holy specced aswell i really should not be healing 30% more then he is with less raw overhealing :P
Ofcourse the meters are bloated, especially paladins have ridiculous numbers. But as a holy priest i like to check what my overhealing is. If its to high to my taste i know i'm either pcking the wrong targets or i'm using the wrong spells. Less overhealing is more mana conserved and holy priests don't have any decent mana regen ability like the rest have so we do have to watch out for overhealing.
Beezy, quit stealin' my killin blows. Heal me!
Holy shit! Those DDR guys killed it
im an enhance shaman and i used to play resto in OL i was seroiously undergeared so for me
lifetaping warlock=kick
but i nvr raid so my opinion doent matter
I am a happy healer,, I have only healed for 3 months now,, I always target mt with beacon and then i have time heal ot and raid heals.. In question to trying to get healing #s up.. what ever! if there is somethign to heal I heal it. it does bother me when lock uses lifetap becasue i try to keep all at 75%. mt first I only have 18k mana and I have never ran out of mana,, Stack MP5 heavy and spellpower heavy I am more than happy to give pointers to pally healers,, I just got done healing some toc10. Word of advice to healers, make sure you dps and tank first then you much better unerstand who needs heals and when. I am usally top heals in raid with almost no overhealing... thats my job to keep raid alive