Project Lore

I'm starting to think maybe Dorkins isn't buying the highest quality meats. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy the smoked talbuk venison and all. Whenever I'm chillin with my buddies in a raid, though, it seems their owners always give them clefthoof ribs, and damnit they smell so f***ing delicious!!! Look, i'm a level 70 and as far as stats are concerned the smoked talbuk venison makes me just as happy (+35 happiness per tick) as the clefthoof ribs (+35 happiness per tick), but for some reason the price difference makes me feel like I'm getting gyped. I mean Dorkins only pays 56 silver for a stack of 5 smoked talbuk venison, whereas a stack of 5 clefthoof ribs is 80 silver. The venison may not recover as much health as the ribs, but I only eat the food for the happiness. Now, I know it saves him money and all and ultimately smoked talbuk venison is the smarter choice, but still I wish he would splurge a little and hook me up with the good stuff.

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Let's be honest here, I suck at this game. I don't come from the world of warcraft, I come from the world of suckcraft. So in order to make it look like I have some tiny semblance of skill, I use addons. And lots of them. These are my hunter specific addons, enjoy.

Beast Training. This makes the beast training window look like a talent window, get it, love it, bottom line. Cooldown Timers2. Do you want to know when your trap is going to break? How about when Bestial Wrath is up? I though so, definite must have. GFW_FeedOMatic. Having trouble figuring out the nuances of pet feedery. Trouble no more, grab this addon and you are set. Brought to you by Gazmik Fizzwidget. GFW_HuntersHelper. Everything you ever could have dreamed of as a fresh, tender, young hunter is here. Install it, like yesterday. Gazmik Fizzwidget is a smart S.O.B. Kharthus's Hunter Timers. Similar to Cooldown Timers2, KHT has the ability to monitor all of your hunter abilities and skills. I use it mainly to show when mend pet and feed pet are active, so I don't go wasting mana and food. ZHunterMod. Last, but not least, Zhunter is a highly customizable addon that lets you do practically anything with your Petbar, your Trapbar, and your Aspectbar. This frees up a lot of space on your main actionbars giving you room for other things like macros and potions. My favorite part is the movable autoshot casting bar, love that shit.

Because of these beautiful little cyber treats, my suckitude rank in the annals of suckness has gone from General Suckington to a more reasonable Sergeant Suckage. Sucking less is always good, so if you know of any must have addons, let me know.

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Me: There are five men in this group right? You: Right Me: No, wrong You: Wrong? Me: Yeah wrong. You see that huge white tiger standing next to me? You: Yeah Me: That's f***ing Jimmy and he's my pet and he's part of this group, so that makes six of us. You: Oooookay. So what? Me: So what?!?! So he is just as important as everyone else. And because I'm a Beast Master he provides almost 35% of my f***ing dps. Not only that, but with Ferocious Inspiration everytime he crits a mob in the face, we as a group gain 3% to all damage! And trust me he crits a lot. You: Fine he the sixth man, your a Beast Master he helps your dps, and give us some Ferocious stuff. Now, why are you telling me this? Me: Because you're the healer a**hole!! Just like anyone else in the group, if you see him dying, throw a heal his way. Got it? You: Yeah, whatever. Me: A**hole.

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I swear to all that is holy, including paladins and priests, if you screw with Dorkins...I will turn red, grow really big, then rip your face off and defecate on your dead corpse. Are We Clear?! That is a warning to everybody, including you party members. Man I need some meat.

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